Idol Prompt 10: Synesthesia
Sep. 22nd, 2024 12:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
inkstainedfingertips“What the hell happened? Hailey was perfect for you.”
I feel strange. There’s something odd in the air tonight and it has me feeling anxious. It almost feels anticipatory in a way. What I’m anticipating though, I don’t know. It just feels weird and has me on edge.
“Dude,” Doug snaps.
“Sorry,” I say with a shrug. “Hailey’s a nice girl. We just didn’t have a lot of chemistry.”
Doug runs a hand over his face and sighs. He’s clearly frustrated with me. I look around the half-empty coffee house and give him a minute to chill out. There’s a couple sitting close together in a corner. Their individual Glimmers are pale blue and bright. But the two individual strands wind around one another, blending seamlessly into one thread that’s nearly blinding. They’re old souls who’ve found one another. They’ll be together for the rest of their lives.
At a table a few feet away from them, two people seem to be having a pleasant conversation. Their individual Glimmers are duller, different colors, and they don’t touch at all. In fact, their Glimmers almost seem to be pushing away from one another the way magnets do when you try to push their like-poles together telling me their souls are strangers to each other. They won’t be having a second date.
“Gabby and I are running out of friends to set you up with, man.”
“I’ve never asked you to set me up with anybody to begin with.”
Doug frowns and his expression darkens. It was a cheap and petty thing to say, I know. Throwing what he believes is his kindness back in his face like that isn’t cool. At the same time though, what I said is true. I’ve never asked him and Gabby to set me up with anybody. They seem to be more concerned about me not having a girlfriend than I am.
“I just don’t get you, man,” he says. “Don’t you want to be happy?”
“I don’t need to be with somebody to be happy.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Doug says. “But Gabby and I… we just want to see you with somebody great. We want to see you in love.”
“Love isn’t for everybody in every life.”
“I have no idea what that even means,” he says. “But these women we’ve been introducing you to… we think you could have something really special with them if you just let yourself be open to the possibility.”
“I get that. And it may not seem like it, but I do appreciate everything you and Gabby are trying to do. I guess… I guess I’m just not really looking for something special right now.”
“You’ve been saying the same thing since we were kids, man. You’re not getting any younger. Who or what is it exactly that you’re waiting for?” he asks.
Her. I’m waiting for her. That’s what I’m waiting for. But I can’t tell him that because he won’t understand. I just know at some point, I’ll find her Glimmer. I know it as well as I know my own name. And when I do, our Glimmers will be brighter than even that couple in the corner. They will be brighter than the sun. We are meant to be, she and I.
Doug looks at me and shakes his head. “I don’t get it.”
“There’s nothing to get. I just haven’t connected with anybody you and Gabs have set me up with,” I tell him. “I really do appreciate you guys trying, but I’m okay. Really.”
“That’s debatable. Hailey is hot as hell. She's smart, funny... you are most definitely not okay if you can't find something about her to like. There is something very wrong with you, my friend,” he replies lightly.
“Yeah. Maybe so.”
I used to think there was something wrong with me too. But I’ve been to more doctors than I can count, and none of them have ever been able to give me a satisfactory answer for the things I see. Some have told me I have a neurological disorder—one they can’t identify or diagnose. Others don’t believe me at all and insist I have a mental or emotional defect and should seek psychological help for it. I tried that too and it still didn’t help.
Out of desperation and not having anywhere else to turn, I ended up going to a woman named Sabra who owned a shop with a neon crystal ball in the window. She promised to tell me about my past lives for fifty bucks. I figured it couldn’t hurt anything, so I coughed up the money and sat with her. She told me I had a rare gift. Said I could see a person’s Glimmer--that light that surrounds them that I can see. She told me that those of us who could see the Glimmer were seeing a person’s soul and could see the way they connected with others.
Sabra told me about all the lives I’ve lived. She told me things she couldn’t possibly have known and yet, she did. And she told me about the first time I met her and about the life when our souls first bonded—a bond that’s carried us both through the many lives we’ve shared together since.
We’re different people living different lives, but that bond always brings us back together. It sounds crazy, I know. It took me a minute to wrap my head around it too. But what Sabra told me is the only thing that has ever made sense to me.
So, that’s what I’m waiting for. I’m waiting for her. And that’s why nothing has ever worked out with the women Doug and Gabby insist on setting me up with—they’re not her. Our Glimmers just don't shine together. I don’t know when and I don’t know where—it’s nothing I can plan or prepare for—but I know that at some point, she’s going to come back into my life.
“Are you okay?”
I give myself a small shake. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“All right, listen, I have to go. But this conversation isn’t over.”
“It never is,” I say with a wry laugh.
“Yeah, well, we’re going to keep talking about this until something changes.”
“Tell Gabs I say hi. And tell her I’m sorry.”
“You should tell her that yourself. Hailey’s her friend.”
“Okay. I’ll do that.”
Doug gets up and claps me on the shoulder, a look of disappointment on his face. He turns and heads out, leaving me alone to finish my coffee. As I survey the coffee house, I look at the Glimmers surrounding the other people, look at the way they interact with each other—or don’t—and see a lot of love among them all. It makes me smile. The world is better when it's filled with love.
Another thing Sabra told me was that souls didn’t always find each other in every life. Not for a lack of trying, but sometimes, even bonded souls went through life alone. It’s why I resigned myself to the idea that I was going to be alone a long time ago. It hurts less when you know there’s a possibility you may not find the person you’re supposed to be with. It hurts less knowing I may not find her in this life and that allows me to find some semblance of joy in other things. Like I told Doug, love isn’t for everyone in every life, and maybe true happiness isn’t either.
As I sip my coffee, my heart starts to race inexplicably, and my gaze is drawn to the window. And when I see her passing by on the street outside, a white-hot flash of adrenaline surges through my veins and my skin begins to warm. Her hair is sandy-brown, and her eyes are golden-hazel, her features are softer and she’s taller in this life, but the connection I feel is instant.
More than that, the Glimmer that surrounds her is a familiar shade of red--a shade of red I’ve only ever seen in her Glimmer. In life after life, her Glimmer has always remained the same. It’s her.
I jump to my feet and dash for the door. The street outside is crowded, but I can see her Glimmer standing out in the crowd. It’s as bright as a spotlight. My heart racing, I weave my way through the crowd, dodging bodies and the dirty looks people cast my way as I bump into more than a few of them. I can’t believe that after all these years, I’ve finally found her, and I can’t keep the smile off my face as I'm drawn forward like a magnet and get closer to her.
The light up ahead turns green and she emerges from the crowd, stepping off the curb among a group of others. Her Glimmer is a beacon and she has a gravity all her own that pulls me forward. A laugh bursts from my mouth as I get to the crosswalk, and I want to call out to her. I want her to turn around and see me. To feel the connection that’s filling my soul. The connection that’s drawing me to her. But I don’t know her name in this life. I don’t know who she is. I only know that her soul is bonded to mine and that pure love and true joy are finally within my grasp.
“Excuse me,” I shout. “Hey, excuse me!”
She pauses in the crosswalk and I’m sure she can feel me. Can feel the bond our souls share. She slowly turns around and when our eyes meet, I see a strange look cross her face. She looks at me blankly for a moment, but I feel like I'm finally home after a long, arduous journey. I feel like I've been living in a black and white world and am seeing in color for the first time.
I can tell she recognizes me but just needs a couple of moments to put it all together. Needs a moment to reconcile what she's feeling. My heart is in my throat as I walk toward her, desperate to feel her in my arms again after so long.
She is the first and only woman I’ve ever loved. The first and only woman I’ve ever wanted to love. We’ve lived countless lives together, our love growing stronger and our bond growing deeper with each and every one of them. As I draw near, her Glimmer grows so bright, I have to hold my hand up to shield my eyes. I laugh though, basking in the glow of our eternal love.
The screech of tires and shrieking voices filled with terror rings in my ears. I turn and feel the blood draining from my face when I see the headlights, even brighter than her Glimmer, bearing down. Everything slows down and I find myself seeing the world around me in frame by frame slow-motion. And when I see it plow through the crowd, when I see it strike her, catapulting her into the air, the cry that’s ripped from my throat is shrill and raw.
As the car speeds away, she hits the ground with a wet, sickening thud. I hear the screams and murmuring voices all around me as I dash forward, weaving through the bodies that litter the ground. I can only see her. I drop to my knees beside her torn, broken body. She’s flat on her back and covered in blood. Her arms and legs jut out at awkward angles, and the bone protrudes from several ghastly wounds. Her eyes flutter as she hovers on the verge of unconsciousness and a low moan passes her lips.
“No,” I cry. “Please, God, no.”
In the distance, I hear the warbling sirens drawing closer, but they might as well be a million miles away. Her Glimmer is starting to fade. I take her hand between mine and when I do, her eyes open wide, as if I jolted her with a current of electricity. For a moment, she’s perfectly clear and focused as she looks at me. They might be a different color, but I know those eyes so heartbreakingly well. A gentle smile curls the corners of her mouth and her lips tremble as a tear spills from the corner of her eye and races down her face.
“It’s you,” she says, her voice barely more than a whisper.
“It’s me.”
She shudders and her breath is ragged. Her cough is wet and blood sprays from her mouth, piercing my heart with an ice-cold lance of grief. It’s not fair. To have finally found her after all these years only to have her ripped away from me like this isn’t fair. As her Glimmer continues to fade, my heart shatters like glass. I squeeze her hand, and as she closes her eyes, she stops shuddering and smiles.
“I see the day we met,” she says as she grips my hand with a gentle ferocity. “I can see all the lives we’ve lived together. I see the families we've raised.”
“We’ve lived some beautiful lives together. We've had some beautiful children,” I say and choke back a sob.
“I’m sorry,” she gasps. “I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”
“We’ll find each other again. I’m yours—”
“And you are mine,” she finishes, the saying something we’ve said to each other through all our lives together.
The small, fond smile remains on her lips as her Glimmer blinks out like a light being turned off, its absence consuming my soul with grief. I bow my head, and my body shakes as the ambulance finally arrives. A tear falls from my eye and splashes on her cheek as her hand grows cold in mine.
“I will see you again,” I whisper.
I feel strange. There’s something odd in the air tonight and it has me feeling anxious. It almost feels anticipatory in a way. What I’m anticipating though, I don’t know. It just feels weird and has me on edge.
“Dude,” Doug snaps.
“Sorry,” I say with a shrug. “Hailey’s a nice girl. We just didn’t have a lot of chemistry.”
Doug runs a hand over his face and sighs. He’s clearly frustrated with me. I look around the half-empty coffee house and give him a minute to chill out. There’s a couple sitting close together in a corner. Their individual Glimmers are pale blue and bright. But the two individual strands wind around one another, blending seamlessly into one thread that’s nearly blinding. They’re old souls who’ve found one another. They’ll be together for the rest of their lives.
At a table a few feet away from them, two people seem to be having a pleasant conversation. Their individual Glimmers are duller, different colors, and they don’t touch at all. In fact, their Glimmers almost seem to be pushing away from one another the way magnets do when you try to push their like-poles together telling me their souls are strangers to each other. They won’t be having a second date.
“Gabby and I are running out of friends to set you up with, man.”
“I’ve never asked you to set me up with anybody to begin with.”
Doug frowns and his expression darkens. It was a cheap and petty thing to say, I know. Throwing what he believes is his kindness back in his face like that isn’t cool. At the same time though, what I said is true. I’ve never asked him and Gabby to set me up with anybody. They seem to be more concerned about me not having a girlfriend than I am.
“I just don’t get you, man,” he says. “Don’t you want to be happy?”
“I don’t need to be with somebody to be happy.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Doug says. “But Gabby and I… we just want to see you with somebody great. We want to see you in love.”
“Love isn’t for everybody in every life.”
“I have no idea what that even means,” he says. “But these women we’ve been introducing you to… we think you could have something really special with them if you just let yourself be open to the possibility.”
“I get that. And it may not seem like it, but I do appreciate everything you and Gabby are trying to do. I guess… I guess I’m just not really looking for something special right now.”
“You’ve been saying the same thing since we were kids, man. You’re not getting any younger. Who or what is it exactly that you’re waiting for?” he asks.
Her. I’m waiting for her. That’s what I’m waiting for. But I can’t tell him that because he won’t understand. I just know at some point, I’ll find her Glimmer. I know it as well as I know my own name. And when I do, our Glimmers will be brighter than even that couple in the corner. They will be brighter than the sun. We are meant to be, she and I.
Doug looks at me and shakes his head. “I don’t get it.”
“There’s nothing to get. I just haven’t connected with anybody you and Gabs have set me up with,” I tell him. “I really do appreciate you guys trying, but I’m okay. Really.”
“That’s debatable. Hailey is hot as hell. She's smart, funny... you are most definitely not okay if you can't find something about her to like. There is something very wrong with you, my friend,” he replies lightly.
“Yeah. Maybe so.”
I used to think there was something wrong with me too. But I’ve been to more doctors than I can count, and none of them have ever been able to give me a satisfactory answer for the things I see. Some have told me I have a neurological disorder—one they can’t identify or diagnose. Others don’t believe me at all and insist I have a mental or emotional defect and should seek psychological help for it. I tried that too and it still didn’t help.
Out of desperation and not having anywhere else to turn, I ended up going to a woman named Sabra who owned a shop with a neon crystal ball in the window. She promised to tell me about my past lives for fifty bucks. I figured it couldn’t hurt anything, so I coughed up the money and sat with her. She told me I had a rare gift. Said I could see a person’s Glimmer--that light that surrounds them that I can see. She told me that those of us who could see the Glimmer were seeing a person’s soul and could see the way they connected with others.
Sabra told me about all the lives I’ve lived. She told me things she couldn’t possibly have known and yet, she did. And she told me about the first time I met her and about the life when our souls first bonded—a bond that’s carried us both through the many lives we’ve shared together since.
We’re different people living different lives, but that bond always brings us back together. It sounds crazy, I know. It took me a minute to wrap my head around it too. But what Sabra told me is the only thing that has ever made sense to me.
So, that’s what I’m waiting for. I’m waiting for her. And that’s why nothing has ever worked out with the women Doug and Gabby insist on setting me up with—they’re not her. Our Glimmers just don't shine together. I don’t know when and I don’t know where—it’s nothing I can plan or prepare for—but I know that at some point, she’s going to come back into my life.
“Are you okay?”
I give myself a small shake. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“All right, listen, I have to go. But this conversation isn’t over.”
“It never is,” I say with a wry laugh.
“Yeah, well, we’re going to keep talking about this until something changes.”
“Tell Gabs I say hi. And tell her I’m sorry.”
“You should tell her that yourself. Hailey’s her friend.”
“Okay. I’ll do that.”
Doug gets up and claps me on the shoulder, a look of disappointment on his face. He turns and heads out, leaving me alone to finish my coffee. As I survey the coffee house, I look at the Glimmers surrounding the other people, look at the way they interact with each other—or don’t—and see a lot of love among them all. It makes me smile. The world is better when it's filled with love.
Another thing Sabra told me was that souls didn’t always find each other in every life. Not for a lack of trying, but sometimes, even bonded souls went through life alone. It’s why I resigned myself to the idea that I was going to be alone a long time ago. It hurts less when you know there’s a possibility you may not find the person you’re supposed to be with. It hurts less knowing I may not find her in this life and that allows me to find some semblance of joy in other things. Like I told Doug, love isn’t for everyone in every life, and maybe true happiness isn’t either.
As I sip my coffee, my heart starts to race inexplicably, and my gaze is drawn to the window. And when I see her passing by on the street outside, a white-hot flash of adrenaline surges through my veins and my skin begins to warm. Her hair is sandy-brown, and her eyes are golden-hazel, her features are softer and she’s taller in this life, but the connection I feel is instant.
More than that, the Glimmer that surrounds her is a familiar shade of red--a shade of red I’ve only ever seen in her Glimmer. In life after life, her Glimmer has always remained the same. It’s her.
I jump to my feet and dash for the door. The street outside is crowded, but I can see her Glimmer standing out in the crowd. It’s as bright as a spotlight. My heart racing, I weave my way through the crowd, dodging bodies and the dirty looks people cast my way as I bump into more than a few of them. I can’t believe that after all these years, I’ve finally found her, and I can’t keep the smile off my face as I'm drawn forward like a magnet and get closer to her.
The light up ahead turns green and she emerges from the crowd, stepping off the curb among a group of others. Her Glimmer is a beacon and she has a gravity all her own that pulls me forward. A laugh bursts from my mouth as I get to the crosswalk, and I want to call out to her. I want her to turn around and see me. To feel the connection that’s filling my soul. The connection that’s drawing me to her. But I don’t know her name in this life. I don’t know who she is. I only know that her soul is bonded to mine and that pure love and true joy are finally within my grasp.
“Excuse me,” I shout. “Hey, excuse me!”
She pauses in the crosswalk and I’m sure she can feel me. Can feel the bond our souls share. She slowly turns around and when our eyes meet, I see a strange look cross her face. She looks at me blankly for a moment, but I feel like I'm finally home after a long, arduous journey. I feel like I've been living in a black and white world and am seeing in color for the first time.
I can tell she recognizes me but just needs a couple of moments to put it all together. Needs a moment to reconcile what she's feeling. My heart is in my throat as I walk toward her, desperate to feel her in my arms again after so long.
She is the first and only woman I’ve ever loved. The first and only woman I’ve ever wanted to love. We’ve lived countless lives together, our love growing stronger and our bond growing deeper with each and every one of them. As I draw near, her Glimmer grows so bright, I have to hold my hand up to shield my eyes. I laugh though, basking in the glow of our eternal love.
The screech of tires and shrieking voices filled with terror rings in my ears. I turn and feel the blood draining from my face when I see the headlights, even brighter than her Glimmer, bearing down. Everything slows down and I find myself seeing the world around me in frame by frame slow-motion. And when I see it plow through the crowd, when I see it strike her, catapulting her into the air, the cry that’s ripped from my throat is shrill and raw.
As the car speeds away, she hits the ground with a wet, sickening thud. I hear the screams and murmuring voices all around me as I dash forward, weaving through the bodies that litter the ground. I can only see her. I drop to my knees beside her torn, broken body. She’s flat on her back and covered in blood. Her arms and legs jut out at awkward angles, and the bone protrudes from several ghastly wounds. Her eyes flutter as she hovers on the verge of unconsciousness and a low moan passes her lips.
“No,” I cry. “Please, God, no.”
In the distance, I hear the warbling sirens drawing closer, but they might as well be a million miles away. Her Glimmer is starting to fade. I take her hand between mine and when I do, her eyes open wide, as if I jolted her with a current of electricity. For a moment, she’s perfectly clear and focused as she looks at me. They might be a different color, but I know those eyes so heartbreakingly well. A gentle smile curls the corners of her mouth and her lips tremble as a tear spills from the corner of her eye and races down her face.
“It’s you,” she says, her voice barely more than a whisper.
“It’s me.”
She shudders and her breath is ragged. Her cough is wet and blood sprays from her mouth, piercing my heart with an ice-cold lance of grief. It’s not fair. To have finally found her after all these years only to have her ripped away from me like this isn’t fair. As her Glimmer continues to fade, my heart shatters like glass. I squeeze her hand, and as she closes her eyes, she stops shuddering and smiles.
“I see the day we met,” she says as she grips my hand with a gentle ferocity. “I can see all the lives we’ve lived together. I see the families we've raised.”
“We’ve lived some beautiful lives together. We've had some beautiful children,” I say and choke back a sob.
“I’m sorry,” she gasps. “I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”
“We’ll find each other again. I’m yours—”
“And you are mine,” she finishes, the saying something we’ve said to each other through all our lives together.
The small, fond smile remains on her lips as her Glimmer blinks out like a light being turned off, its absence consuming my soul with grief. I bow my head, and my body shakes as the ambulance finally arrives. A tear falls from my eye and splashes on her cheek as her hand grows cold in mine.
“I will see you again,” I whisper.
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on 2024-09-22 04:20 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2024-09-25 10:15 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2024-09-22 04:46 pm (UTC)I absolutely adore this, the emotions in it were so vivid and the ending is heart wrenching. I would love to read more about these two meeting again and again. This was phenomenal and beautiful as always <3
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on 2024-09-25 10:15 pm (UTC)Thank you so much for such a wonderful comment. It means everything. I appreciate it so very much.
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on 2024-09-22 07:41 pm (UTC)Sorry, but Doug's a little weird. LOL And, how many friends do he and Gabby have who are interested and single?
Unfortunately, I could literally feel the car coming when he called out to her in the street. Tempting fate, dude, tempting fate!
Dan
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on 2024-09-25 10:16 pm (UTC)And yeah, I did not have the time to figure out how to better disguise the ending. It was very obvious.
Thank you very much for your thoughts! I do appreciate them!
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on 2024-09-23 03:34 pm (UTC)- Erulisse (one L)
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on 2024-09-25 10:16 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2024-09-23 06:09 pm (UTC)This may be the happy single in me, but Doug seems like an asshole. If I had a friend who insisted on enforcing their idea of what I needed to be happy, we wouldn't be friends anymore.
The description of him finding his soulmate was wonderful and heart-wrenching, the moment she was in the road I knew something bad was going to happen.
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on 2024-09-25 10:17 pm (UTC)Thank you so much. I really appreciate you reading.
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on 2024-09-24 07:59 am (UTC)She was Doug's blessing, but in a way, he was her curse. Only in this lifetime, luckily. I do like the idea of some people having a more special connection than others, and because he can see it in other couples, we understand why Doug would be holding out for that.
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on 2024-09-25 10:18 pm (UTC)Thank you so much for reading. I do very much appreciate your comments!
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on 2024-09-24 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2024-09-25 10:18 pm (UTC)Thank you so much!
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on 2024-09-25 08:58 pm (UTC)Such a beautiful story.
Wanders away wailing. 😫😫😫
💐💗💐
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on 2024-09-25 10:19 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2024-09-25 10:38 pm (UTC)❤❤❤
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on 2024-09-26 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
on 2024-09-25 11:49 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2024-09-26 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
on 2024-09-26 02:47 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2024-09-26 11:32 pm (UTC)And I was sad to see that you missed the deadlines. Your pieces were always fantastic to read.